In Search of Motherhood: Magical thinking

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Magical thinking

...because if being realistic doesn't help, why not have fun believing in fairy tails?

Maybe if we wish on the first star the Blue Fairy will come and turn our kitty into a real girl? It worked in Pinnochio.

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My Turner's Syndrome Story

- 1983: born 7 pounds, 7 oz. 21 inches long, and 1 isochromosome short of a full chromosomal deck. Many sleepless nights ensure for Mama and Daddy.

- 1992-93: Diagnosed with TS but not told. Begin levothyroxine replacement for hypothyroidism and visits to Dr. G, my pediatric endocrinologist. Wait three hours to spend five minutes with the doctor.

- 1994: (2 Tishrei 5755) Initiate nightly growth hormone injections.

- 1996: Learn to inject myself. Thighs are easiest. Belly is intimidating but turns out not to be too painful.

- 1998: Infotrac search teaches me that TS causes infertility. Begin hormone replacement. Last GH injection!

- 1999: Mama tells me the full impact of my diagnosis, not realizing I know.

Infertility Chronicles

- 2006-07: Meet my future husband while volunteering in Israel. Telephone bill is never the same.

- 20 June 2008: He asks...I say yes!

- 12 August 2009: Mazal tov!

- December 2009: Discuss pregnancy with my OB-GYN, who refers me to MFM specialist.

- January 2010: High-risk OB says I just need cardiology clearance. An echo and an MRI/MRA later, check!

- March 2010: FSH levels confirm what we already know. Ultrasound shows one streak ovary and a normal uterus.

- May 2010: Meet second REI specialist

- June 2010: Second REI specialist vetoes pregnancy.

- Aug 2010: Happy anniversary! Celebrate by obtaining psychiatric clearance for surrogacy.

- Sept 2010: Northwestern won't let my best friend be my ovum donor.

- Oct 2010: Find ovum donor!

- Dec 2010: Meet potential surrogate. Fails due to legal issues.

- January 2011: Meet S, another surrogate. It's a match!

- 9 May 2011: Two embryos are implanted.

- 16 May 2011: :o)

- June 24: Baby B loses its heartbeat.

- 15 August 2011: P-PROM and oligohydramnios.

- 19 August 2011: Told we must terminate the pregnancy.

- 20 August 2011: :o(

- Dec 2011: Meet new potential surrogate, N.

- 11 March 2012: FET with the last two remaining embryos

- 21 March 2012: beta-hCG #1 is 48

- 23 March 2012: beta-hCG #2 is 127

- 4 April 2012: ultra-sound shows one sac, no heartbeat, 5w4d

- 13 April 2012: still no heartbeat, no growth.

- 17 April 2012 D&C :o(

- 18 April 2012: new egg donor identified

- 16 September 2012: Erev Rosh Hashana, and IVF cycle #3 (new donor, fresh embryos, same surrogate): FAIL

- 12 November 2012: IVF cycle #4 (FET, same surrogate): FAIL

...and now we're out of embryos again, and trying to figure out what's next

9 May 2013: IVF cycle #5 (fresh transfer, same surrogate, new ovum donor -- #3 if you're counting) = positive pregnancy test!

Erev Rosh Hashanah 2013: we find out it's a GIRL!

24 January 2014, 23:59: Our little miracle A is born at last

Operation Sibling

February 2015, April 2015: two failed FETs using embryos from the cycle which created A

August 2015: establish care at CCRM

October-November 2015: oocyte retrieval, followed by genetic screening

17 December 2015: SET...fingers crossed...

26 December 2015: BFP!

31 August 2016, 00:56: miracle do come true twice -- welcome Baby Boy J