My exuberance was premature. So was the rupture of Surrogate's membrances. Not just premature. Preterm premature rupture of membrances resulting in oligohydramnios. They are referring Surrogate to a maternal-fetal-medicine specialist but it looks bad. I am trying to accept it. Job said "God giveth, God taketh, blessed be God's name." I should learn from that. And I hope one day I can look back and this will be a small grief compared to a life of motherhood. We do have four frozen kidsicles, and maybe we will find two surrogates and go for broke -- if I can open myself up to heartbreak again. But then, motherhood is a lifetime of opening oneself to heartbreak, isn't it? I'm told. Not a member of that club.
I must learn to bear this with grace. I'm so fortunate in every other aspect of life. It'd be wrong to get angry and bitter, and it's ungrateful. And I know I shouldn't cry when I have additional opportunities. I should list my blessings again.
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